I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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