You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize