I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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