is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
