I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
