Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
