there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
