Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
