your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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