I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
