It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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