covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
