i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
