well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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