I heard we made out
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
nutella sex= disaster
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
This is the high leading the old right now
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
