I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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