Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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