im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
