your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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