and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
