Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
