I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
