yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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