He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
