I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
