Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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