when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
