weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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