he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
