I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
