saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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