hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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