My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
