I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i believe in u and ur pee
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