She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
