Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My pussy is not your playground.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
