I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Randomize
