I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
