Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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