Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
