So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
well most of my day revolves around power hour
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
