I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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