I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
