@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
