im about as happy as oj after his trial
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
