You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
A bitchslap is in order.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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