So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
