I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
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