I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
third nipple confirmed
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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