i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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