is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
