Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
