Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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