I think i sorta joined a cult last night
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize