does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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