I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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