What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
