well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
