Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
